Promotion!

Hello all,

It seems I have been promoted; I am no longer a waitress (although still striving towards genius-hood) and therefor feel the need to abandon this forum. However, I will be giving it another college try, and you can check it out at my new blog:

Bottomless Salad

Weird, I know, but it was what I am always hoping the waitress will bring me.

Recipe n°20: Bittersweet Symphony, that's life

10 parts nostalgia
5 parts yearning
5 parts mal du pays
5 parts indecision
10 parts reality
a splash of eau de rose

Shake all ingredients in a tumbler, mixing thoroughly. Strain into a martini glass and sip slowly, savouring the bittersweet aftertaste of the nostalgia, letting the reality sink in slowly...


Two months later, I'm resurfacing.

In France for the summer, for the first time. It started earlier than it does in Boston, and it's light out until 10pm. There are palm trees in the street and I sleep with my (un-screened) windows wide open, letting the cool breeze (and the mosquitoes) tickle my feet.

After almost a year of fairly mundane daily life, interspersed with some amazing trips, restaurants, and visits, I found myself these last few months busier than I've been all year. Working for an abroad program is a unique job, as there are weeks when almost nothing happens and then at any time an issue can arise: a broken arm, a 1am phone call due to over-booked hotels, sudden tears brought on by the undermining stress of living in a foreign country. And while it's helped me learn to deal with these impromptu situations, the pressure of being constantly available is not so much to my liking, and I am doubting that "Study Abroad Program Director" will stay high on my list of desired job titles.

One thing I do not like about growing up: the constant paradox of wanting more responsibility, moving up in the world, but at the same time feeling a desire to go back to having no responsibility, and simply rely on others.

Why is it always that when you know you're leaving a place, and your days are numbered, that then and ONLY then do you start doing all the things you've been meaning to do for so long. By next Wednesday, I will have seen all my friends made this year to say goodbye, gone out dancing, made NEW friends, and basically have a brand new social life. Only to leave. I can't say I haven't taken advantage of France this year, I've seen and done a lot. But I've also watched many online episodes of Grey's Anatomy, which is time I'm sure could have been spent doing something more enriching, more cultural. The sadness of this activity is compounded by the fact that my housemate Katherine has gone, leaving me to make fun of Derek and Meredith all by my lonesome, i.e. TV is no longer a group activity. To be honest, I haven't watched a single GA without her, it wasn't worth it. I've started looking for more French movies and shows, of course NOW, now that I'm leaving.

And I've also decided that yes, of course I want to live in France! It's so much better here! The markets, the food! The tranquil lifestyle! The countryside! The language! It's so obvious!
Let's wait until my first cup of medium coffee at Espresso Royale or Gimme Coffee when I get home and see how I feel then.

In the meantime, seeking: attractive, funny Frenchman living in Boston who also owns a house in Dijon, and who wants to live between the US and France. Preferably rich enough to afford many first-class plane tickets. I'll be in Boston, starting over yet again, waiting for you.

Experimenting in Nostalgia #1

Here are some excerpts from my journal this year, a bit random but it may be interesting. Or maybe not.

[sunday 7 sept 08]

THE CANAAN CURSE STRIKES AGAIN (oh, poor people like me!). How? Why? What? I really think I'm asking for it somehow.
And then there's the nice things they do for you: drive you home, buy you ice cream...maybe it's b/c dates don't exist en France.
I'm glad Dad will be here this weekend (why? so I'll get a break from my new French friends? Ha) but...yeah. It's intense!
And is it possible to really be friends?
I HATE letting people down . . . I'm not ruling it out but I need time.
Sheesh.
This is all happening so FAST. And I really want to keep them as friends!
I need Zoe. Or Mom. Or Liz.
Dammit! I think it'll be OK though. Since "mon amitié t'es acquise."*
Please please be cool.
I hope my answer was good and not genre "I've dated people uglier than you"** -- not one of my finer moments. On peut toujours espérer. Bonne nuit

*"You have acquired my friendship."
**Yes, I did actually say this to someone. But I later found that they deserved it.

[saturday 22 nov 08]

(à la Boîte à Sardines, blindée)

It's been way too long. Bad girl. You're supposed to keep up on these things when you have the time & you're in a frickin' foreign country.
Pretty cool being alone in a bar on a Saturday night...surrounded by boys drinking fancy, sugar-rimmed, glow-stick-porting cocktails.
Off to Rym's crémaillère in about an hour. Until then I guess I'll do my thing here...at least I'm not drinking in the street w/ my dog.
I currently seem to be enjoying two groups of people: Rym's, et Didier's. The problem is not grave but Rym's = awfully young peeps & Didier's, well there's Didier . . . And then there's Caitlin, my new tarot-toting, redhead American wonder. I'm so glad I met her. And then there's her colocs : Dimitri, Manu, Clément et Romain.
How is it possible to know so many boys and not LIKE* any of them?
Plus my thoughts are often ailleurs, and this is something I need to régler. Esp. when Mikey sends me e-mails asking for "romantic french quotes"...and then there's ####**...and the non-existent ###**. It's hard not to hold a small candle when I know I'm going back...and this is going so fast...

But NON. Je suis ici, et ici je reste. J'attends mon prince charmant!

*Here I mean LIKE LIKE, just FYI.
**Names of American boys changed to protect the innocent.

[dreams]

15 dec : (text missing) . . . this is after I kissed him and he hesitated but then kissed me back, looked me square in the eyes and said, "You're never going to get any love from me."

19 jan : I dreamed I finally shaved my legs but I accidentally only did one.

25 jan : I dreamt that someone(?) was killing cats/spiders in my room by pinching their heads off with tissues. That I kept missing trains. That tons of people were taking showers and there was not hot water left.

[friday 20 march 09]

(does embarrassed come from bare-assed?)

Tonight a perfect couple made me not want to get married. But the mari told me I was "jolie comme un cœur"

[saturday 2 may 09]

Wow, sorry I've been so boring lately?* I mean ! Why does my brain fart like that?
I should remember: drinking is twofold bad: 1st) calories in drinks and 2nd) eating sticks of butter w/ crackers at 2am and waking up to a pile of crumbs under your chair.
( . . . )
I just had an idea (not sure if it's a good one) to put parts of my journal on my blog. Hm.

Obviously not this page.
(arrow pointing to previous page.)

So Zoe's** coming to Grenoble and I'm beside myself. I wonder what she'll like and what she'll be like.
I can't see her at a party like tonight.

Hope I can sleep despite coffee.

*I wrote a bunch of entries about what I was eating in a vain attempt to lose a few pounds.
**My super-awesome, unbelievably cool sister who has been spending the last year in India and Uganda.

Well, I hope that wasn't a totally failed experiment. I haven't written much this year, but it was fun looking back on how my year here has evolved. At home I have about twenty journals, mostly from high school, and while writing in a journal is very different from writing a blog, the two do seem to overlap sometimes and I think it's nice to be able to share a little bit of so much writing...plus it was an easy way to think of an entry topic and I needed one! Ha.

Off to see if I can sleep despite the coffee...

Recipe no°19: Eau de Provence

3 oz. pastis (anise-flavored French liqueur)
a small flagon of water, preferably local

Find yourself a lovely, sunny terrace table and order up your pastis. Mix to your pleasure with water, and sip over ice. Savor the tongue-numbing flavors...




It's 8 o'clock on a Friday night (or 20 hours, as we call it over here) and I'm unwinding at home, having sent the 'rental units off to Lyon on the train but a few short hours ago. I promptly blew off steam by purchasing a few Esprit shirts (stop! buying! stuff! now!), and now am waiting for C. to come over, enjoy some wine, and re-hash our respective last weeks. But she's taking too long to get here, so let the re-hashing begin without her...

As my "glimpses" proved popular with several readers last week, let's continue in the same format.

Glimpse #1: I arrive in Aix-en-Provence, after a long wind-thrashed layover in Valence (yes, I chose to wait for a late train out on the quai). Not five minutes have passed when my translation skills are requested again, this time to haggle with a parking-lot attendant who overcharged T. & W., and I'm supposed to argue with this man even though the couple in question lost their ticket. Hm. Luckily that one's put off 'til later, and I find out that W. managed to change his 500 euro bill in a tiny bank! We zoom off to Cassis, and I endure/enjoy a harrowing boat ride to visit the calanques, which are quite beautiful. (I don't feel like explaining; Google it, people!) A word to the wise: a warning of "mer agitée" translates roughly to : "You might be hanging on for dear life and wondering why anyone in their right mind would bring a child on this death trap".

A deceivingly calm port.

Glimpse #2: I ask my mother to pick me up an apricot croissant for breakfast.

I like my apricots sunny side up.

Glimpse #3: We visit the market in Arles, where I hope to recreate the idyllic picnic I experience there a few months ago, in the jardin d'été. Unfortunately, it literally rained on my parade and we were forced to make do under one of the arches of les arènes, the amazingly well-preserved arena where bullfights are still held. Not today, folks. We spilled tapenade on the steps and swigged wine out of a bottle; we carved up tomme de savoie and hard pepper sausage and laid it on damp slices of fougasse, the local bread. Not quite the déjeuner sur l'herbe I had hoped for, in fact more of a face-stuffing sur le concrete, but it did the trick.

A market image I will cherish.

My first, sunnier trip to Arles, where I was able to photograph the local gladiators.
Luckily this was not a "mise-à-mort" spectacle.

Glimpse #4: We traveled to Les-Baux-de-Provence, a small medieval village which reminded me of Le Mont St. Michel. It was still raining, and we got the full medieval mud-slopping experience as the rain shower became torrential. I ended up having to take my shoes off and walk down the cobblestones in several inches of water, and despite our copious rain gear we were quite soaked. It was totally worth it. For a better view of Les Baux, in the daylight, see my friend Rachel's photo, who seems to be currently leading a parallel life.

Soaked but loving it. The bright colors were helpful in a crowd, I found.

Glimpse #5: The sun finally graces us with its presence, and we head down to the Camargue, to see the "world-famous" white horses (apparently you learn about them in Austrian elementary schools), along with black bulls and pink flamingoes. As we're reading about where to stop, we come across these passages in the guide book ("The Rough Guide to Provence & the Côte d'Azur"):

"There's really no ideal time to visit the Camargue. If you have the sort of skin that attracts mosquitoes, then the months from March to November could be unbearable...you'll need serious chemical weaponry. Biting flies are also prevalent and...the other problem is the wind, which in autumn and winter can be strong enough to knock you off your bike. Conversely, in summer the weather can be so hot and humid that the slightest movement is an effort."

Well, most mosquitoes consider me filet mignon, and I left my H-bomb at home. I roll up the windows, and make the move to put on a life vest and lock my door as well after reading this:

"For drivers and cyclists the main thing to be wary of is taking your car or bike along the dykes. Maps and road signs show which routes are closed to vehicles and which are accessible only at low tide, but they don't warn you about the surface you'll be driving along. The other problem is theft from cars. There are well-organized gangs of thieves with a particular penchant for foreign licence plates."

Whew! thank God we rented in Lyon.

I'll enjoy that world-famousness from the car, thank you very much.

Glimpse #5: We visit a brocante, or an antiques/way-overpriced junk fair. There are many interesting images to share, but I'll stick to my favorites:

Corkscrews throughout the ages and various sundry objects.

This looks like something my dog Toofy would hang on her mantel, if she had one.

Ancient music boxes (I think) that cost over 100 euros each.

Cute or creepy? You decide.
There were plenty of terrifying hairless dolls, and
such nightmare-inducing marvels as a box full of
blue, lashed doll eyeballs. Only 1 euro each!

Translation: "Male thieves, female thieves, warning.
You risk making a huge! huge! investment in dental work and hospital bills (2 dead - 8 injured)"

Glimpse #6: We stop at a restaurant, and imagine my relief at seeing this posted on the door:



Glimpse #7: There are many fascinating sights along the road. Stopped at a light, I wonder...is that Batmobile rides to the left?




Glimpse #8: Tuckered out from our navigating and planning, T. and I take a little sieste.

FIN

Recipe no°18: Traveller's Choice

What would you like to drink? A beer? A glass of wine? Red or white? A panaché (beer mixed with lemonade)? A coffee? A double? Café au lait?* A pastis? Quick, le monsieur nous attend...

*My oh-so-cute mother actually thought this was called "Café olé"

My ambitions as amateur food and travel writer are put momentarily on hold, or perhaps they're conversely kicked into high gear as my mother, her new boyfriend (whom I'm meeting for the first time) and her two friends descend upon my little city of Grenoble, anticipating my help as travel agent, guide, translator, activity organizer, and cultural commentator. I wear these different jackets with pride, and even find it fun, but it can also be exhausting. Here are a few glimpses into the last few days...

Glimpse #1: I'm at work, waiting for my mother to call me from the Lyon airport, to assure me of their safe arrival. Instead, I receive a call from a French-accented woman from Air France, informing me that she "has my parents". After the initial shocks of wondering if a) they are incarcerated/still breathing/alive and well and b) if a man I've never met can be considered my "parent", she further informs me that all is well and that they've simply lost their luggage, can it be delivered tomorrow and to what address. NB: if this ever happens to you, thank your lucky stars: instead of hauling your heavy baggage through a foreign city, you will have it delivered to your doorstop by a burly airline employee. Pack underwear in your carry-on and you're covered on all fronts, literally.

Glimpse #2: As the visit progresses, a few of the things that merit commentary from her and her boyfriend (she having travelled several times but not often to Europe, he being for the first time in a foreign country, not to mention airplane!): the shape of the cars, the fancy Affligem beer glasses, the ridiculous gamme of Euro coins (8!), the lovely public transportation, the lack of sidewalks. They are worried they won't be able to get money (there's an ATM on practically every corner), are bothered by the late dinner-times (7:30 at the VERY earliest), but are easy-going and generous. I'm slightly embarrassed by the constant photo-snapping and loud American voices, but what can you do.

W. and Ric snapping away on the téléphérique.

Glimpse #3: We travel to Lyon to pick up my mother's friends T. & W., who live in Austria (an Austro-American couple), and I take them to lunch in a typical Lyon bouchon. I make a show of finding the one I knew, but really we could have eaten in any of 10 or more practically identical restaurants. We sat outside, and the waiter brought us several very long menus that I began to translate, to the best of my ability. I was doing fine, but there were too many choices, and I had to explain the concept of the French menu. I finally finish, breathless, and the waiter returns. "Ils parlent anglais? Vous voulez des cartes en anglais?" Well, yes, that would be nice. A bit too late though. Mother's BF loves the food, and mentions several times that he will try to find it again before they leave. How do I explain: all the restaurants in Lyon are good, and we weren't even in one of the better ones. C'est pas la peine. Plus, don't you want to try something new? My friend kindly points out his attempt to attach to something familiar, that he

knows he likes. My job becomes more complicated as I realize there's some psychology involved.

Glimpse #4: We arrive at T. & W.'s Grenoble hotel, only to discover that the welcome desk has closed il y a une heure. Someone lets us in the front door, and we call the number left in the lobby for late-comers. The man puts me on hold while he searches for their reservation, then comes back on the line.

"Are you à l'intérieur de l'hôtel ?"

"Oui..."

"Do you see a cabine téléphonique ?"

"Oui..."

"Inside the cabine, do you see a small safe?"

"Oui..."

"Next to the safe there is an envelope."

"Yes, I found it! There's T.'s name on it and the key inside."

I hung up, half expecting him to tell me that this envelope would self-destruct in 5 minutes.

Glimpse #5: W. has brought from Austria a lovely, grand 500 euro bill, in all its purple glory. He foresees no problems. He attempts to pay for some breakfast items at a low-cost grocery store, first thing in the morning, with this note. It does not fly. He asks me to accompany him to the bank to break the bill; the teller replies in a haughty tone that he will not break the bill, it is against the law (huh???). "C'est comme ça qu'on fait le blanchissage d'argent," he accuses ("That's how people launder money"). I ask him where we can break the bill, and he says ponderously, "NULLE PART." No where. After having a minor freak-out and calling France a third world country, W. lets it go the next day, and it becomes a joke. Merci à dieu. But still, pretty weird...

This morning, they left me for a few days to head off to Aix-en-Provence, and I cheerfully waved goodbye as they dropped me off on their way, along the quays of the Isère. "What will we do without you?" W. moaned as I hopped out of the rented Opel Zafira. Vous vous débrouillerez, I thought; you'll figure it out. And best of all, you'll be happy to see me when I get there on Friday.

The gang.

But first, I'm gonna go have a beer. BY MYSELF.

Recipe no°17: The Revelation

After a very brief search for a cocktail relating to my title theme of "Revelation", I stumbled across this very interesting recipe on Wikipedia. I like to think that after several years of working as a waitress and bartender, that I have a fairly extensive knowledge of wine and spirits. I have no idea what half of these ingredients are.

The Revelation appears in William "Cocktail" Boothby's 1908 work The World's Drinks And How To Mix Them^[1]as "A swell after-dinner drink."

Into a small mixing-glass place a little cracked ice, two-thirds of a pony of Bénédictine, one-third of a pony of Kümmel and seven drops (no more) of Crème de menthe. Twist and throw in a piece of lemon peel (a la cocktail). Stir thoroughly until cold and serve in a pony-glass.

This is a most seductive after-dinner beverage, and was originated by Mr. Dennis O'Sullivan, the well-known mixologist, several years ago, and is still very popular with many connoisseurs and clubmen."

Enjoy.

Here's a picture that I feel captures me in one of my perfect moments; sitting on my favorite leopard-print chair, mulling over a French project in my sunny yellow kitchen. I like to contemplate this picture when I feel homesick or worry about my future, feeling I don't know who I am or what I should do with my life.

**Warning: This post is a bit self-centered and ruminative, but then again, what are blogs for but a literal tooting of one's own horn?

Well the other day, while sitting miserably at work nursing a headache and trying not to drip too much snot onto my keyboard, I was casually surfing the net. After perusing the Opinion section of the New York Times and happening upon a review of Rome's various trattorias and the wonderfully delectable things you can consume in them, I felt an urge to explore the possibility of becoming a food critic. One google later, and I stumble across the blog of a man who has a similar educational background to my own (he has a PhD in Spanish Baroque theater, I may someday have one in 18th century French literature) and who now works as a restaurant critic in New Orleans.

I am now utterly convinced that my résumé is ideal for this kind of work, and that it is my true calling.

My idea is more of a travel/food writer, and I feel this kind of work is something people consider to be a swanky, cushy job but there must be some demand...I mean I can name at least 10 brands of travel guides and they have to be constantly updated.

Also, you'd be hard-pressed to come up with many people possessing the perfect combination of skills for this kind of work, which of course I have...

Here are my impeccable credentials:

1) I've spent almost every year of my life since senior year of high school working in the restaurant industry. Tasting, talking about food, learning about wine, becoming a basic food snob and often showing up my fellow cooks in their culinary knowledge (I'm talking about the terms and meanings, not the actual cooking). I.e. "No, Jason, you can't make 'baked ziti' with rigatoni because then it would just be 'baked rigatoni' ". Jeez.

2) I am now pursuing a PhD in French Literature, which not only forces me to hone my writing skills, but also involves intense study of the French language, obviously a useful language when it comes to food snobbery. Now I'll really know what it means when I say, "Garçon, hurry up with those hors d'oeuvres. Oh, merde, you have spilled the crudités, how gauche."*

*having been a garçonne myself, I would obviously never talk to one that way.

3) I have lived in Spain and France for extended periods of time, and both travel and waitressing has made me an expert and talking to strangers. Just give me a real reason and there's no stopping me! Plus I have excellent spelling and grammar.

4), and most importantly: travelling and going out to eat are like, my favorite things EVER. Do what you love, they say.

Actual proof that I travel and eat in restaurants.

I've always wanted to be a writer but not really the fictiony or history kind. And so I toyed with the idea of being a translator of literature but it turns out you have to be a famous recognized professor and then people ask you to translate their books...you don't sign up on craigslist. Dammit. So this seems like the perfect option; I get to write, entertain and be original but by waxing poetic on the wax beans I just consumed. I love it.

Here's a little practice blurb...tell me if you think I have what it takes. I'll review the dinner I ate with my host family this evening.

We started off the meal with a comforting if predictable watercress and carrot purée. The soup was pleasantly acidic, its tartness countered by a splash of milk; a slightly higher serving tempurature would have been ideal. A chilled cake of aubergines and egg, topped with tomato sauce, comprised the main course of the evening. The cake, reminiscent of raw tofu, was a bit bland but refreshing, and the sauce, if it had been homemade, could have been its saving grace (the hostess apologizes--she's had a busy day). A light salad of romaine hearts and balsamic vinaigrette was a welcome accompaniment to this springtime fare, and any lingering hunger was quelled by the cheese course (camembert, beaufort and chèvre). A simple dessert of fresh fruit and hazelnut-studded chocolate, healthy and unassuming, brought the meal to a close.

Ok, I know I have some work to do. I just couldn't wait to get started.

Recipe no°16: Eau de l'école

To create this lovely, nostalgia-inducing perfume, you need only mix these elements:

Several glue-sticks (Elmer's in America)

Various crayons and pencils, with their shavings

Floor cleaner

Chalk dust (or for a more modern aroma, whiteboard markers)

And last but not least, the secret essential ingredient: orange peels.

*****

More adventures from the land of the small people...

Yesterday a small boy and I carried on this exchange (again, entirely in French):

Boy: But why can't you speak French?

Me: Well, I can. I'm speaking to you right now in French! Don't you understand me?

Boy: (looks at me with wide eyes, shakes head slowly)

Me: Do you understand the words I'm saying to you, right now?

Boy: (slowly shakes head no)

So I rattle off something in English, and then say to him in his language: "See, that's what it would sound like if I was speaking English. You really wouldn't understand!" He looked even more confused. Bon, laisse tomber. It was getting a little too metaphysical for both of us there.

It's funny to see how many of the children, even the older ones, seem to think that  because I'm the English teacher, that I'm speaking to them in English, even though I only do about 8% of the time. I'm also realizing that I am fairly clueless when it comes to English grammar.

Here's an example; can you help me out here?

I ask the students to correct a few sentences, including this one:

I like swim.

One girl figures out the problem, and I explain that it's just like French. We don't say J'aime nage, do we? After a conjugated verb, we use an infinitive.

But later, I'm looking over one of their previous worksheets, where they often use the expression "I can" for learning activities. And lo and behold, we don't say I can to swim, do we? Whyyyy? And this after I've been telling them English is so easy, look, you barely have to do anything to conjugate a verb, blah blah...to the point that several kids asked me, "So if it's so easy, what do English kids study in school?"

Here's another example of the grammar or pronunciation rules I kind of "stumble upon", and then am terrified that I have just made up. This happens to me when I teach French, too, but not as often since not much of French is instinctive for me...

When words end with 'e', it makes the vowel in the middle of the word (usually just before the final consonant) sound long, and I described this as pronounced like we pronounce the letter of the alphabet. Examples: wine, make, complete, more, pure. Now there are tons of weird pronunciation things in English, so have I cursed my students by affirming this to be true?

So much I take for granted...who knows what else I'll discover I already knew, but didn't know I knew.